Jeff Ross’ next roast target is his home state — – Latest News
Ready to set Jersey ablaze
Jeff Ross as soon as schlepped to the Middle East. The comic entertained sheikhs. Now back, he’s skewering his hometown state, or what’s left of it following the jailing of its gold-loving Sen. Menendez. The show’s “The Roast of New Jersey.” It’s Saturday, Feb. 28, at no matter’s Meridian Health Theatre in Red Bank. You can most likely get a snigger and a colostomy on the similar time. Ex-NFL man, now WFAN radio man Tiki Barber’s within the factor. Tickets go on sale tomorrow. But warning: The journey takes its toll.
Call-out playing cards
Ellen Easton does food, recipes, tea manners, and many others., and despatched menus for vacation time. Plus, protocols. Like: RSVP if not attending. Decline politely in writing, e-mail or textual content. Inform your host of allergic reactions. Rude to ask to deliver one other visitor, youngsters, pests or your divorce lawyer. Send thanks afterward.
This protocol, etiquette, manners, get together specialist then despatched one other be aware: “I’m just informed my Christmas card has a typo. It says ‘bight’ instead of ‘bright.’ ”
Hey, Ellie, mazel tov.
Trawling for items
Itchy as to what to present? Try crabs. Baltimore actor Dave DeBoy has written a e book. Everybody’s written a e book. Kamala’s even studying to learn a e book. DeBoy’s given mates John Waters, Barry Levinson, Natalie Portman, Renée Zellweger, Julia Louis-Dreyfus his personally written factor “I Gave Baltimore Crabs (for Christmas).” I envy them. I now await the potential sequel which may be “Snails for Snowstorms.”
It’s H’wooden ‘Love’ really
Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson crawl round on all fours in “Die My Love.” Also bare a lot. It’s about childbirth which doesn’t make them ecstatic.
Jennifer: “Anybody who’s been through postpartum or depression should see this. Especially if you have a husband character like Robert. That makes it a cautionary tale.”
Flights of fancy
So I got here throughout a reminder of the long-gone Pan Am’s Clipper Service for a vacation. Thanksgiving 1960. The aircraft’s gone. Menu’s gone. Prices gone.
Get opinions and commentary from our columnists
Subscribe to our each day Post Opinion publication!
Thanks for signing up!
Starts with caviar “from the Caspian Sea.” It’s swilled down with vodka or Champagne. Just what we now sitting three-across grab as we cross over Montana. Then hors d’oeuvres, which you’ll drown in wine. Next, should you’re nonetheless aware, Long Island bay scallops sloshed with Bordeaux Blanc. Piggies nonetheless hungry? Main dishes: roast filet of beef, sweetbreads, veal steak with tarragon sauce, stuffed squab. A crate of greens and a tub of desserts.
God is aware of how that they had enough room left over for passengers. That aircraft’s final traveler is most likely nonetheless ready for his sautéed onions.
No more Pan Am, so should you’re searching for an Uber, call Crapdammy. May be his next profession as he’s solely quickly in New York, youngsters, solely quickly New York’s secondhand mayor.
