Please inform the ‘Elsbeth’ writers of my – Latest News
They’re lifeless set on the previous
I’m not one to complain. I learn letters addressed to me as “Dear Stupid.” But comes now CBS-TV’s profitable TV sequence “Elsbeth.” Central in it’s a snotty smarmy gossip columnist — admittedly based mostly on me.
Listen, I used to be good to my mom, good to my grandmother, good to my husband, good to my canine — even good to my colorist (like superb). Please inform your writers of my undeserved kindnesses.
People magazine’s present challenge goes heavy on bye-bye. It’s Windsors and Kennedys. Full colour pages. Photos of Princess Diana. All in white. Blond hair flowing. Wearing her crown. She’s gone. Then, matching web page, full colour picture of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. All in white. Blond hair flowing. Also gone. To make it neat they throw in footage of Queen Elizabeth II — additionally no longer round.
Also one thing someplace someplace someway on Willem de Kooning whom — if I’m right, and perish the evil thought that possibly I’m not — solely a few talked about over their cream-cheesed breakfast bagels.
The Times goes massive on David Hockney in his suspenders. Their ebook part does Mike Nichols, who’s additionally gone. Also a good part on Vincent van Gogh, who left us in the Nineties. Need one thing more? Its Page 2 does a complete megillah on Hieronymus Bosch who lived, give or take a week, round 1450.
So if itchy to pair a Rembrandt with a Banksy, neglect it. Meanwhile, earlier than I get my delayed however required adoration — and earlier than empty newspapers do exercises on Gauguin, Cézanne and Matisse, this week they did full complete full pages on Martha Graham. OK by me however she’s additionally extraordinarily gone. They immortalized her in a number of pages in two points.
Can it’s that editors don’t like anybody nonetheless alive?
Graham had an intensely devoted assistant. For years after she left us, he despatched me issues she’d touched or used: a powder puff, handkerchief, hairclip, junk jewellery. Something, something. I lastly requested him to stop as a result of I used to be shedding space for my own issues. And now her dance group’s 100, so NYC’s massive giant broadsheet did a number of days of full pages on her.
Mwah than meets the eye
BUT speaking about love: Winona Ryder, dissatisfied along with her Jennifer Aniston lesbian kiss in “Friends”: “I got bummed out because we had chances for some pretty nice kisses.” . . . Christina Aguilera on locking lips with Madonna at the MTV awards: “She’s got very soft lips. She’s a very lovely kiss.” Sarah Michelle Gellar on her smooch with Selma Blair in “Cruel Intentions”: “Great kiss. It even had a saliva trail.” . . . Charlize Theron kissing Christina Ricci in “Monster”: “The film’s false teeth kept falling out. Was difficult with those fakes.” . . . Kyra Sedgwick and Julianna Margulies in “What’s Cooking?” hit lesbian bars to do analysis.
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Points for our metropolis
Mazel tov to our Knicks. Even the Statue of Liberty applauded.
Phyllis McGinley wrote this poem:
“Let others, discovering flaw or fault
Accept you with their grains of salt.
Egregious metropolis going through towards the sea,
Always all the time you for me.”
SIGN on a church in Portland, Ore.: “Come this Sunday. Avoid the Fourth of July rush.”
Only in America, youngsters, solely in America.
