Sen. John Kennedy reveals the jokes and jibes – Latest News
We’ve acquired some characters in the Senate, however all senators attempt to be civil. There are solely 100 of us, and now we have to work collectively.
But there are clues when civility is being stretched.
When one senator says to a different, “With all due respect to my good friend Senator Blank . . .” the subsequent sentence will doubtless be Senate-speak for “Screw you.”
One incident from my first 12 months in the Senate stands proud.
It was a Tuesday afternoon, and all Republican senators had been having lunch at spherical tables in the Mansfield Room, a historic and elegant assembly place simply off the Senate flooring in the Capitol.
A foreign-policy subject got here up. Predictably, a quantity of senators weighed in (as soon as again, typically incorrect, however by no means unsure), but it surely was Sen. Lindsey Graham and then-Sen. Bob Corker who actually acquired after it.
John Kennedy is an independent-minded thinker in the Senate. Jemal Countess/UPI/Shutterstock
Bob is a former mayor and a profitable real-estate developer who preferred to get up from his desk when he’d completed eating and tempo the room. He would stroll and he would speak.
I don’t bear in mind what he and Lindsey began disagreeing about, however I do bear in mind they went back and forth and acquired louder and louder.
They had been each cordial at first, however after a jiffy Bob made a very salient, persuasive level.
I may inform Lindsey didn’t have a good response. So he merely mentioned: “F–k you, Bob.”
That ended that debate.
I as soon as noticed Sen. Tom Cotton (Harvard Law, embellished army veteran) go toe-to-toe with the late Sen. John McCain at one of these lunches.
John was powerful as a $3 steak and extremely opinionated. He is also belligerent.
He and Cotton acquired into it over overseas coverage as properly, and John, who misplaced his mood about a squillion instances a week, lastly snapped: “F–k you, Cotton.”
Cotton didn’t hesitate. “F–k you too, McCain. Just f–k you.”
That additionally ended that debate in the world’s biggest deliberative physique.
Senators nonetheless lightheartedly make enjoyable of Majority Leader John Thune. REUTERS
I don’t need to go away you with the impression GOP Senate luncheons recurrently end in stabbings.
They’re uncommon, however they’re not unheard-of as a result of the points we deal with are knotty and difficult, and most senators are passionate.
Much more typically than not, when senators aren’t on the flooring, in committee or attending to severe business in our places of work, we wish to joke round. It reduces the pressure.
Republican senators meet thrice a week for lunch to conduct business, with Thursdays being the most relaxed.
A special senator hosts every Thursday, and when it’s my flip, I fly in Louisiana favorites — shrimp, oysters, alligator, bread pudding, crawfish and stuffed bell peppers.
Kennedy as soon as tried to make Bernie Sanders smile. AP
The week is nearly over, and for higher or worse, everyone seems to be wanting ahead to heading home to their households and constituents.
One of the funniest people ever to serve in the Senate is Secretary of State Marco Rubio.
In November 2020, Rubio stood up during lunch and, referring to John F. Kennedy’s assassination, mentioned, “This week, I want all of us to keep President Kennedy in our thoughts. I also want us to remember Ted Cruz’s father, who killed him.”
Kennedy relates a joke Marco Rubio (proper) made about Ted Cruz (left). Bloomberg through Getty Images
We all broke up. (President Trump famously accused Ted’s father of being concerned in the Kennedy assassination during the 2016 primaries.)
We additionally give Sen. John Thune a arduous time, a custom that hasn’t stopped now that he’s majority chief. Thune is tall, skinny, athletic and rattling handsome.
He’s not outdated — nonetheless in his 60s — however he’s a beast in the Senate health club.
That’s in all probability why we mess with him. We’re jealous. The man’s a mighty mind and a jock.
Just earlier than he and I had been on reside tv collectively as soon as, I requested the host if it was OK if I discussed in the interview that John has a tattoo of the Backstreet Boys on his decrease back. (He doesn’t.)
The look on John’s face was that of a canine passing peach pits.
Over the years, I’ve discovered even dyspeptic Bernie Sanders, a man who smiles with the frequency of a whole photo voltaic eclipse, lightens up in the event you method him in the proper method.
When I first acquired to the Senate, I assumed Bernie didn’t like me as a result of he was so gruff.
I discovered later that’s simply his persona.
I used to be decided to make Bernie smile.
One day I used to be strolling over to the Senate flooring to vote with the late and much-admired Wyoming Sen. Mike Enzi when Bernie was strolling previous us.
I mentioned, “Pay your taxes, Bernie. We need the money.” He smiled. It was a weenie smile, but it surely was a smile.
To some people, reaching throughout the aisle is akin to fraternizing with the enemy.
It can kill you when your subsequent marketing campaign for re-election rolls round.
But I’ve by no means seen it that method. It additionally doesn’t trouble me after I disagree with my own Republican colleagues, who perceive I don’t vote the set menu.
I’m more of an à la carte type of man.
I’m independent-minded and have at all times believed the majority typically simply signifies that all the fools are on the similar aspect.
I’m not the just one — colleagues on either side of the aisle assume like me, however there aren’t many of us.
On the Republican aspect, everybody just about understands that your vote is your own, and you attempt to do what you assume is best on your people and the nation.
When colleagues ask how I’m voting, I inform them and clarify why, however I don’t give a lot advice.
I normally simply say, “Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.”
Adapted from Sen. John Kennedy’s “How to Test Negative for Stupid: And Why Washington Never Will” with permission from Broadside Books and HarperCollins.
