New York often takes a lot of heat — but we are a – Latest News
Somewhat messy, but it’s home
I’m interested by my metropolis. We’re the best. No. 1. And we’ve been taking a lot of heat. And that’s earlier than Mayor Zero Crapdammy.
Lincoln Center, Rock Center, World Trade Center. We received Woody, Dustin, Gayle, Donald.
Rush hour. Tourists, cameras slung throughout their chests just like the Order of the Garter, staring up on the Freedom Tower, jostled, checking a movie crew down the road, saying: “Maybe the crowds are too much for me.”
Tolerant of all of it, a Madison Avenue kind wearing Armani and angle provides: “Like East Side, West Side, all around the town, like somebody sent for you?”
Middle of a film scene capturing on the road, this short man, occupied with getting from Point A to Point B, walks proper into it. Nobody misses a beat. Just saved delivering their strains. Muttered a passerby: “We’re the No. 1 city. We deserve more crime.” A crew member overhearing that mentioned: “Good line. I’ll find a spot to stick that in the movie.”
Go, get outta right here
Listen world, knock it off. Where else might you wait on line for a john subsequent to Letterman, or sit subsequent to a film star choosing up after his canine at Starbucks? Your Arizona city has St. Pat’s, MSG, the Yankees?
We received tradition. In Kansas they solely received that in yogurt. But we additionally received the best scorching canines and steaks. Thieves and the New York Post.
Everything we have is the best. More French hairdressers than in Paris. Better Italian eateries than in Rome. So many legal professionals, there’s not enough scams to go round. Maybe we received a few muggers, but at the least they’re professionals. I imply, that is New York.
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So perhaps we received solely semi-good pols. Only a few have been within the can. We’re impolite? Yeah, proper. At least we’re good at it. You received Broadway? Central Park? All you’ve got is a bus out! And, let no one ever neglect, we have Saks, at the least quickly. We used to have Klein’s, Ohrbach’s, locations that bought bras, panties, garter belts that no one wears anymore. Only in fashion today are your boobs.
Don’t like us? So get in your rented bike and pedal out. Wheel back to the place the moon is as high as your unemployed pal. Catch your native highway company model of its misspelled “Othelo.” Buy one of their regionally made T-shirts promoting Harry Truman. Or be part of your folks with tattoos.
Ink-lined to make a mark
TATTOOS: LL Cool J has “Respect” on his left shoulder . . . Stephen Baldwin? Chinese indicators someplace . . . Kid Rock? Detroit Tigers emblem on his proper arm . . . P. Diddy? A newspaper has much less print than his bones. One higher arm has writing beneath which he by no means let me learn . . . Justin Timberlake? Initials JJ on ankles and a cross on the left shoulder . . . Kelly Osbourne? Heart tattoo on decrease left abdomen, angel wings on her back, star on the base of the neck, pink coronary heart on little finger, anchor underneath left forearm. A dictionary has much less to learn . . . David Duchovny? Compass design on one ankle with N, S, E, West, his daughter’s identify spelled out . . . Eminem? Daughter Hailie’s portrait on one arm, others on different locations too assorted for me to find . . . Nicky Hilton: “Hilton” on her back and a coronary heart on the correct wrist.
I don’t have tattoos. If I did they might say “I love you. I love this country. I love this city. I love this newspaper. And if they let me, I love coming back tomorrow” — to New York, children, solely to New York.
