Nothing beats summer in NYC — even if the AC – Latest News
Ready? Summer is clocking in
It’s summertime and the dwelling is — simple?
The ticks are growing. The in-laws are arriving, children are enjoying and air-conditioning is breaking.
The mother and father tanning, burgers cooking, ice cream melting, coleslaw congealing.
Visitors overstaying, pals overnighting, friends remaining, docs vacationing.
Dogs barking, babysitters quitting, workers demanding, cats meowing.
Sun shining, then rain threatening. It’s prices rising and contractors charging.
Dieters are dishonest, mosquitoes visiting, behinds widening, brokers renting.
The pool drying. The husband searching and the spouse watching, with the boyfriend circling.
Sunburns are hurting. Cars overheating and boobs uncovering with fats cells shaking.
Traffic jamming, whereas summer theater’s hamming.
Infants crying, grandmas sighing, golfers mendacity. The houseguests bitching. The lovers ditching.
The pies baking. The make-up caking. The gardener raking. The cheaters quaking.
Roses blooming, grass growing, quickly fall looming and takeout booming.
Bikers biking, runners operating, hikers trekking and your pores and skin’s frying.
Seniors kvetching. Potato salad warming, telephones going lacking.
Jewelers promoting, homes altering arms, cityfolk arriving, drugstores closing. Shops opening. Shops closing. Real-estate brokers conning.
Eaters grabbing. Boozers consuming, attorneys watching, Zero Crapdammy conning and spitting.
Mahjong video games beginning. Rental charges rising and late-night comics sulking.
Franks are grilling, tax guys billing, burgers are filling, the prices are chilling.
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Bicycles bashing, bikes crashing, curler skaters dashing.
Marshmallows toasted, chicken legs roasted, gymnasium trainers boasted.
Drive-in films sitting in your car (until the car’s previous which implies you don’t go).
Buses are jammed, highways crammed, politicians damned and Mrs. Biden — about whom no person cares — is getting her roots executed.
Picnics, loud music, amassing clam shells, group video games, visiting whocares artwork museums, attending charity luncheons, going in denims to fashion exhibits, attending any luncheon even if the important dish is Oreos.
I may add more, however I’m hungry and the truth is I desperately need to go for a sandwich — so we’ll discuss again Monday.
B’means’s ‘Giant’ nite
One excellent characteristic of summer? Tony Awards this Sunday and NY1’s Broadway guru Frank DiLella — who kvetches all about the Great White Way going back to even earlier than Katharine Cornell’s mom was pregnant — predictions: Best Revival Play winner? “Death of a Salesman.” Best New Musical: “Schmigadoon.” Rebirth and who cares no matter they’re doing, the favorites are all the time Nathan Lane (“Salesman”) and John Lithgow (“Giant”) in something they’re in.
