I’m head coach of the Gotham FC — why I took – Latest News
There isn’t a excellent time to step away out of your staff.
If you’re a head coach, there’s at all times one other sport, one other journey, one other coaching session. And in skilled ladies’s soccer, these calls for final virtually 11 months of the 12 months.
But, as I inform my gamers, we’re people first — and when I grew to become a dad, I realized the exhausting approach what it meant to put the job forward of my household after they needed me most.
So when my second youngster, Laia, was born a few months in the past, I knew I needed to do issues in another way. That meant taking 5 weeks of paternity depart from Gotham FC — presently the top-ranking staff in the National Women’s Soccer League and 2025 champions — in the center of the season.
I solely want I made the identical alternative back in 2021.
Juan Carlos Amorós, his son, Luka, and spouse, Laura. Juan Carlos Amorós
At the time, I had simply began a job with Real Betis Féminas, a staff primarily based in Seville. We have been at the backside of the league and combating relegation — which means being demoted to a decrease division for the subsequent season — when my spouse, Laura, instructed me she was pregnant.
It was a tough second at work. I put all my efforts into the staff and we turned issues round and pulled off one thing of a miracle, ending twelfth and securing our survival.
Then got here my second season as head coach, and, lastly, the arrival of my son.
Luka was born on a Thursday. I coached a sport the evening earlier than whereas Laura was in the hospital, spent Friday at home with my new household of three and was back on the pitch Saturday afternoon.
In Spain, fathers and moms are each entitled to 16 weeks of depart. But it wasn’t one thing I felt I may even ponder. The staff was nonetheless struggling, and we didn’t have the sources or construction in place to make it potential.
Even when I seemed for small methods to spend more time at home — like flying to away video games as a substitute of touring by bus — we couldn’t make them work.
To this present day, I remorse not having the ability to be the husband and father that my household needed during such a crucial period. I wished to be in two locations without delay, however in the finish, I let my spouse and son down.
“Paternity leave can still feel like such a difficult decision for men in the US. America is a country where hard work is important, but it’s also a place where family is a core value.”Juan Carlos Amorós
Four years later, once we realized we have been having a daughter, our circumstances have been very totally different.
Our household had moved from Spain to Houston after which to New York, and alongside the approach, Laura had made huge sacrifices in her own profession to assist mine and raise our son.
Things had modified professionally, too. I’d been with Gotham for 3 years, we had discovered stability and success, and I had a teaching workers I trusted utterly.
Amorós didn’t take paternity depart following the delivery of his first youngster in 2021. Juan Carlos Amorós
When Laia arrived on April twentieth, I wasn’t planning to take a extended depart. We had a plan in place: I’d take a few days off right here and there or miss the occasional journey, whereas kin traveled from abroad to help out as Laura recovered.
By June, although, that assist was starting to run out. Around the identical time, Luka began his summer season break, including one other layer to the calls for of life with a new child.
That’s when I realized I needed to take these 5 weeks. It was important to me to be there not just for the children, however for my spouse, too. She had been by way of a lot, and I felt she deserved to have me there.
Already, I can see the distinction. When you aren’t bodily together with your youngster, otherwise you’re consistently coming and going, it has a actual influence in your relationship with them.
Sometimes, even when I was home, my teaching duties have been so demanding that I felt I wasn’t actually mentally there.
Amorós and his spouse had their second youngster, a daughter named Laia, in April. Juan Carlos Amorós
Taking paternity depart has additionally allowed Amorós to bond together with his son, Luka. Juan Carlos Amorós
Having this time collectively has allowed us to settle into life as a household of 4. It has strengthened our bonds, eased some of the stress and given Laura the space to recuperate. More than something, I’ve been in a position to be current for my youngsters in a approach I haven’t earlier than.
And I’ve felt the advantages personally, too. I’m in a more healthy place mentally, and that additionally means I can do my job higher.
But making this resolution wasn’t one thing I may have carried out on my own.
It wouldn’t have been potential with out the basis we’ve constructed at Gotham. For years, I’ve labored alongside assistant coach Shaun Harris and a technical staff who know me, know our gamers and know precisely what we are attempting to do.
I had full religion that the teaching workers was able to drive the boat whereas I was gone, and I trusted Gotham FC’s controlling proprietor Carolyn Tisch and the total membership to provide them the assist they needed, simply as they’d carried out for me.
Amorós credit the assist of his fellow coaches, technical staff, gamers and membership for permitting him to take 5 weeks depart to be there for his household. Getty Images
I’m additionally extremely grateful to the gamers. Life occurs — sickness, loss, household milestones — and we attempt to be there for one another when it does. I’ve at all times tried to create that sort of setting for the staff, so it meant a lot to know they’d my back when I needed it.
Of course, I know not everybody agrees with my alternative. I fearful about how people would react when I introduced I wished to take depart. But the people whose opinions matter most to me are the gamers, the people I work with and the people I work for — and so they’ve been wonderful.
What has at all times stunned me is that taking paternity depart can nonetheless really feel like such a tough resolution for males in the US. America is a nation the place exhausting work is important, but it surely’s additionally a place the place household is a core worth.
So I don’t perceive why more males don’t take that chance after they have it, or why corporations don’t do more to make it potential.
That’s half of why I wished to share my expertise. I need different males to comprehend it’s okay to make the identical alternative when their households need them.
Because you may’t go back. Sometimes in life, there are issues that, if you happen to miss them, you miss them without end. I assume we should always all take into consideration what we are able to do again later and what we are able to’t.
After all, your youngsters are solely going to be this small as soon as. If I can encourage even one new dad who’s hesitating to really feel assured taking the time he must be there for these moments, it can have been price it.
I know he wouldn’t remorse it. I don’t.
