Lesbian bar mask madness shows woke never died – Latest News
Women are shedding their minds this fall and it’s not over pumpkin spice lattes.
Before I get pummeled in a Zoom pile-on from a bunch of commie lesbians, permit me to right myself: Woke is shedding it/its thoughts.
Again.
Remember when everybody wrote woke’s eulogy?
“It’s a vibe shift,” they stated.
“Woke 1.0 was craaaazy,” AOC stated, laughing off teenagers getting destroyed for smirking.
For a temporary minute it regarded just like the normies had wrested control of the tradition back from the crazies.
I remorse to tell you, we didn’t.
If you thought Woke 1.0 was loopy, Woke 2.0 is psychotic.
This week I learn two tales back to back that made me understand woke never died — it simply went off-the-grid in western Massachusetts and went for a spray tan in Philly.
Exhibit A: Philadelphia. Hannah Gann, a veteran public-school instructor (it’s at all times a instructor, as a result of universities are moist markets for the woke thoughts virus), spent years telling the native activist scene she was a Palestinian or a Tunisian or regardless of the second known as for, I suppose.
A Gaza “scholasticide” teach-in billed her as Palestinian American.
Then her comrades sat her down and she or he folded after an hour, ‘fessing up that she had no Palestinian heritage in anyway.
Her grandfather? He was born in Baltimore.
The activists have been livid, saying she hit people up for money, claiming she was broke from sending money to kinfolk in Palestine.
But it seems Gann is Jewish — and her household overseas is in Israel.
It’s simply more proof that #FreePalestine is the new BLM.
In her Instagram confession, Gann groveled she’s a “white woman of significant privilege and wealth.”
But actually, by woke’s own guidelines, what did she do unsuitable?
This is a motion that claims males can get pregnant.
If you may establish into possessing a uterus, why can’t you establish your loved ones tree into Ramallah?
Maybe Hannah has a Palestinian soul and she or he was born within the unsuitable physique.
Why does gender self-ID get you a e book deal and racial self-ID get you a battle session? Make it make sense.
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Exhibit B: Greenfield, Mass. (is there one thing within the water, Massachusetts?), the place, per the Boston Globe, males in ponytails and N95s flock to order hibiscus tea.
I’m not making that up. I couldn’t make that up.
Meet Last Ditch, a lesbian bar that required N95 masks always. In the year-of-our-Lord 2026.
It was going broke (as a result of woke), so it made Saturdays mask-optional and gently broke the information to its “immunocompromised disabled divas.”
Everyone responded moderately. Just kidding.
No, the bar’s homeowners have been denounced as ableist and eugenicists, and one commentator hoped the place obtained firebombed.
The bar tried to apologize however the apology obtained dragged too, as a result of the graphic had no alt-text for the vision-impaired.
Then got here the group assembly, and I actually need you to image it.
Masked adults in a circle on a dance ground with a stripper pole within the heart.
Two mediators, and a calming breath circle.
Everyone obtained two-minute turns. There was a Zoom peanut gallery.
The assembly went for 3 and a half hours.
Then the Zoom crowd attacked the mediator for being a white therapist, and the 26-year-old proprietor who obtained caught with a $50,000 loan after her two co-founders bailed (one for clown faculty, I swear to God), broke down crying.
She was promptly knowledgeable her tears have been racist.
You can’t persuade me this isn’t the plot of a Christopher Guest movie.
Laugh, I did. But beneath the clown-school comedy is one thing darker.
The Last Ditch bar’s own regulars are fantasizing about it getting torched.
And in Philly, a girl in a costume spent years incomes the trust of largely black youngsters by pretending to share their oppression.
That’s what makes Woke 2.0 even scarier than the unique.
They’re so sure they’re the great guys that something goes: mendacity, conning people out of money, capturing executives or campus audio system, wishing arson on a bar for lifting its mask mandate in 2026.
Woke didn’t die. It was hibernating.
And judging by this week, it woke up hungry.
Bridget Phetasy is the host of the “Dumpster Fire” and “Walk-Ins Welcome” podcasts, and creator of the upcoming e book “The Left Can’t Meme: How Comedy Wins Culture Wars.”
