My NYC apartment is stuck in construction hell — – Latest News
The high price of overhead
A New York story: My apartment. I’ve lived in it since earlier than Washington moist his drawers splashing into the Delaware.
My place is now underneath construction. Not my doing. Major buildings need to be re-roofed each 20 years or so. So rain doesn’t fall in. So unfastened bricks don’t drop and hurt people. So creatures don’t gnaw away its basis. And in order that its residents can in the meantime bang their financially unstable heads on the concrete sidewalk under.
I’m not complaining. Merely reporting. I’m my standard charming complacent self, whereas my flooring, home windows, entrances, doorways, glass partitions, silk partitions, woodwork, handwork, sidings, collected antiques, lifetime memorabilia, pictures, newspaper headlines and artwork are experiencing what one not as good as myself would possibly say: “Go and do something unmentionable to yourselves.”
An military of helmet-headed two-legged creatures are exterior — on my flooring — peering inside. Scaffolding enfolds what as soon as had been my home windows. For causes not defined a crappy-looking ladder (not that there’s something like a handsome ladder) holds strangers sporting orange jackets and stands open — open — amid what as soon as was a front room full of antiques — apart from myself, in which varieties like Donald, then-Archbishop Timothy Dolan, Hillary, Sen. Schumer, Gov. Hochul, earlier governors and various front-page faces have eaten, sipped, been photographed — and BS’d — then re-eaten, re-sipped, re-photographed and re-BS’d.
Its décor as soon as included a jade hearth, jade lamp, oil portrait of me, the late Anthony Quinn sculptures, Chihuly glass sculpture and Fiorello La Guardia’s authentic pen and ink stand.
Understand, I’m not complaining. Merely reporting. I’m required so as to add a now further financial evaluation — which suggests what, which covers what — to cowl the quantity this building’s spending to destroy me. Ask a boss someway who’s to be on obligation till 4 o’clock however someway mysteriously disappeared in time to catch his 3:10 practice to the shore is someway off-duty.
Sound finds
Podcasts are actually like roaches. Everyone has them. A “Webby” is their Oscar. Host nominees this yr embody Katie Couric, Amy Poehler, Mel Robbins, Keke Palmer and — Monica Lewinsky. What pod she is casting in — on — or up I do know not. I don’t even know the colour of her costume. The winners of no matter this is will study April 21, with a ceremony in NY on May 11.
For Bent wallets
Monaco. April 25. Sotheby’s auto public sale. A 1996 Royal Blue Bentley Brooklands. Fashionable inside. Belonged to the coddled behind of Giorgio Armani. Expected to hem in 45,000 to 90,000 euros. Forget airbags, this wants money baggage.
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So Arlene Kayatt, Upper East Side weekly “Our Town” columnist, invitations me to dinner. She then instructs a driver to move downtown to gather some one-of-a-kind matzos which have been blessed and regarded one thing particular or no matter.
I didn’t need it. She didn’t need it. But the present from this rabbi pal we had been stuck with.
The driver lastly reveals up holding for Arlene the present box of specifically blessed matzos. He’s Muslim, sporting the keffiyeh headdress.
Only in New York, youngsters, solely in New York.
